The Candy and Razorblades Show!
by Jadyn
Summary: I have kidnapped the stars of G-Gundam and forced them to answer ridiculous questions... wanna come see?
1. Introduction and Outfits Explanation

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The Candy and Razorblades Show! 

Introduction and Outfits Explanation 

Introduction:

Hiya. My name is Jadyn. And this is my new fic. I like to torture people. So I've decided to start a talk show on which I will kidnap the stars of G Gundam and make them answer my questions. My muses cackle and giggle. Listen to them! Mwahahahaha! Ahem, I mean, I'm sure it will be lots 'o pure-hearted fun. So come join us on the Candy and Razorblades Show! 

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Outfits Explanation:

I am a jealous little bitch and like the clothes that they wear in music videos (reference: "Shopping With Wrestlers" chapter 12). Therefore, I steal the clothing they wear, and wear it myself. (Can't you see Christina Aguilera running around nude? I stole her outfit for the first episode.)

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Sending in Questions:

If you would like to send in questions for the next character I'm interviewing, send your name and question to Piscesup@aol.com with the subject "Questions for Candy and Razorblades". I will _only _take question for the upcoming character, so if you send me questions for anyone else, I won't answer them, and I'll ignore all of your future questions. 

**On a More Personal Note:**

I may not be using Fanfiction.net for very much longer. The formatting is atrocious, all the decent authors have left, and they've taken away our basic rights as authors. So, depending on what happens in the incredibly near future, I may set up a website and leave our, uh, _beloved_ Fanfiction.net.

La Reyna de los Corazons,

Jadyn 


	2. Domon Kasshu Learns to Deal With Issues ...

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The Candy and Razorblades Show

Domon Kasshu Learns to Deal With Issues… or Not

Disclaimer: The G Gundam stuff don't belong to me… yeah.

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JADYN: Hi! Welcome to the very first episode of "The Candy and Razorblades Show"! I'm Jadyn and I _know_ you like my outfit!

:: JADYN gets up and turns around. She's wearing the plaid-skirt outfit from Christina Aguilera's "Dirrty" video. ::

JADYN: Anyway, it's time to bring out our first guest. He's Neo-Japan's representative Gundam fighter, please welcome… Domon Kasshu!

:: DOMON is lead out by a group of people who look rather… bruised. JADYN has a big, black soundboard in front of her. She begins the song "Grease is the Word". ::

JADYN: Hi Domon! Welcome to my show!

DOMON: What _is_ that music?

JADYN: Limited selection. Anyway, since this is a talk show, I have to ask you questions. First question! 

DOMON: Ooo-kay…

JADYN: Why is your ass _sooo_ perfectly tight? I mean, drool!!

DOMON: I use "Buns of Steel".

JADYN: Ahhh. Next, why do you wear that weird cape? No one wears a cape anymore!

DOMON: Well, I do! I like it! Besides, if I didn't, I might not match my awesome headband!

JADYN: Oh, um, alright. Well, right now, we have to break for a commercial, but don't go anywhere, we'll be back!

-------COMMERCIAL-------

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-------END COMMERCIAL-------

JADYN: Okay, we're back with Domon Kasshu. My next question, Domon. Do you like cashews?

DOMON: Like the nut?

JADYN: Yeah.

DOMON: I guess so…

JADYN: Does anyone ever _call_ you Kasshu Nut?

DOMON: Uh, no.

JADYN: Can _I_ call you Kasshu Nut?

DOMON: I'd prefer that you didn't.

JADYN: Damn. Anyway, next question. Why do you look all evil like your brother when you go into Shining Gundam mode?

DOMON: _Brother??????_ _I HAVE NO BROTHER!!!!! YAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

:: DOMON jumps up and starts running around beating on his chest and screaming. ::

JADYN: Uh, you know what? I think that's the end of our show! Tune in next time when our guest will be Sai Saishi!


	3. Little Bunny Saishi

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The Candy and Razorblades Show!

Little Bunny Saishi…

Disclaimer: Little Sai Saishi sadly does not belong to me. Oh, how I wish he did! *cries* Little bunny Saishi, hopping through the forest, scooping up the field mice and bopping them on the head…!!! Wahh!

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JADYN: Welcome to another episode of Candy and Razorblades! My outfit today was stolen from Avril Lavigne's "Sk8ter Boi". And my guest today is the representative Neo-China Gundam fighter! Welcome to my humble show… Sai Saishi!

::Canned applause. A few girls who are fawning over the adorable kid bring Sai out. ::

JADYN: Hello Sai. Welcome to The Candy and Razorblades Show. Are you having a good day?

SAI: Um, yeah, except that you kidnapped me, sis…

JADYN: Oh, deal with it. My first question! How old are you?

SAI: Sixteen.

JADYN: No, really.

SAI: Sixteen, sis.

JADYN: You can't be! You're like, three feet tall!

SAI: I will have you know that I stand a good four feet, four inches, sis!

JADYN: Oh. Um, okay. Next question. Can I put you in a bunny suit?

SAI: _What?!_

JADYN: A bunny suit. Bee-you-en-en-why. Bunny. 

SAI: No!

JADYN: Please????

SAI: _NO!!_

JADYN: We'll see about that!

::JADYN jumps on top of SAI and they begin to scuffle. Within thirty seconds, they separate, and SAI is wearing the bunny suit. Bee-you-en-en-why. Bunny. ::

SAI: Oh, no way, sis!

JADYN: Take it off and die…

::JADYN pulls a pistol out of her desk. SAI sits down and crosses his arms grumpily. ::

JADYN: Okay folks, time for a commercial break! We'll be back with more of Sai Saishi in a bunny suit after this!

-------COMMERCIAL-------

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-------END COMMERCIAL-------

JADYN: Welcome back to Candy and Razorblades! I'm Jadyn and that's Sai Saishi, the Neo-Chinese Gundam fighter. Now, Sai, tell me about your Gundam.

SAI: It's called the Dragon Gundam. It has a tail.

JADYN: That's it?

SAI: That's all you deserve.

JADYN: You're a bad bunny. Now, next question. What do you want to be when you grow up?

SAI: Well sis, I kinda have an obligation to be priest of the Temple, but I wanna be a full time Gundam fighter.

JADYN: Okay, it's time for my last question. And my last question is, who's a good bunny? Who's a good bunny?

SAI: Oh brother.

JADYN: Anyway, I gotta go cuddle with the cutest bunny in the world, but tune in next episode when we'll have Argo Gulskii!


End file.
